There are a few items I'd like to post in this blog even though it may not be directly related to the GSA. Nobody reads this anymore anyway, and it's convenient to keep these somewhat-related items altogether.
August, 2013, I wrote a letter to almost all LDS General Authority members including the 70. Many of them hard-copies, many in email versions. Most of the ones I sent to the top 15 were personalized. I also wrote to Deseret Bookstore and John Bytheway (for some reason I thought he was part of DB).
The letter was to request the removal of Spencer W. Kimball's Miracle of Forgiveness from Church-owned bookstores. Here is an open-letter version of my letter:
http://www.nomorestrangers.org/the-miracle-of-forgiveness-an-open-letter-requesting-removal-or-an-update-to-reflect-current-knowledge/
I struck a nerve.
Elder Ballard (one of the "twelve apostles") emailed me, requesting a phone call. I was so happy. I thought, "Finally! Someone is going to listen!" I took notes while speaking with him and then further wrote right after the conversation. What I wrote, as is, is below. I told very few people about this conversation because I thought it really put him in a bad light; I was embarrassed for my spiritual leader. I share it now because it is what it is.
My conversation with Elder Ballard:
Well. It wasn't disastrous. I stayed calm and peaceful, not argumentative (I don't think I was). Focused. (Didn't ramble) I sense he isn't for Mormonsandgays.org (merely speculation -- he never came right out and said it). He kept steering me towards lds.org and the articles there. At one point I said, "I'm sorry, isn't M&G an official Church website?" He confirmed it was.
He started off by saying the Church is not in a position to make changes to the book. And they aren't going to make any statements that would tarnish SWK's name. I followed up that I understood and that I would like to see the members to at least learn of what is said on M&G (that "SSA" is not a choice nor an illness). "Oh, careful there. There is a lot of choice."
And this is when I realized I wasn't going to be heard. It appears he still thinks being gay is a choice. I listened and interjected. When he said we can't change doctrine, I asked if MofF was doctrine. Long pause. He answered yes and followed it with the parts that were (but I don't think he would say the "strong" words would be doctrine, that the way it was presented was Kimball's).
He seemed to avoid the idea of promoting what's in M&G. He has the stereotype in his head about what gay people are (called them "butterflies") and is convinced that "100's have been able to change their lifestyle."
This is the sad (sadder?) part. I brought up how our 13-14-15 year old gay youth and young adults feel unwelcome and are killing themselves. In my opinion, Ballard didn't validate their lives. "Oh, I don't know that there's that many." I said to him one is too many. He went on that there are other reasons for suicide: mental illness, drugs, and he listed more. (Complete denial, imo).
Regarding members' attitudes and hurtful speech towards "SSA" (I tried to speak his language). He agreed that members can get carried away and think they know what is taught and what isn't. I said that this book contributes to the hurtful talk towards our SSA brothers and sisters. He told me to keep doing the best that I can but to "be wise in my crusade." I said I am trying to support the official Church website and the kinder words there as apposed to MofF. He said stirring people up leads to bigger issues. (I don't know what he meant by that).
I bore my testimony and love for Christ, and that I am doing my best to follow Him and His example and that this is why I wrote the letter and that I love my gay brothers and sisters. I said it is never my intent to mislead or embarrass anyone (I didn't feel I did). That's when he warmed up (he was polite before, but not really warm). He was supportive of my character and said something like there's no doubt. He said, "We must love them the best we can." (Is it difficult? -- rolling eyes)
That's pretty much it. The conversation was filled in with the same type of preaching we hear at GC. I listened. I thanked him for his time. He asked about my family. I asked him about the water damage in his office (his secretary told me). He said my most important mission is my children to raise them right. I agreed and said I am hoping for a kinder world for them to live in.
And in case you are wondering: yes, it took a while, but the book is off DB's shelves. :) It's amazing what can happen within a year (or two).
Image Credit: Pinetrest
